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When I Am Without You

by Planeview

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1.
Nazar on the house will you save me? Nazar on the house can you keep us safe from all the evils that stare us down? I’ve been a fool and now we’re starting to drown.
2.
I’ll take this tiny little pill once a day to make me sit still. I’ll burn my history and doubt that I ever had a chance without them. You are all I want forever. Holding on to a dream I had, so sad. And on my final living day, I’ll drown in love and empathy. The drugs I took as a child will cause my own demise, yeah they want to see me die for…you are all I want forever. Holding on to a dream I had, so sad. I’ll work like a dog to suit my father’s (your fucking) cause.
3.
Where do we go? Where do we come from? The answer is lost but we’re going to find it. It’s underneath a struggle so contained and I need you to see that. What does it take to erase your name? Or change it completely? Your memory defeats me until that day comes when I finally make some sense of what I’ve been feeling. Where do we go? Where do we come from? This is what needed to be done. Overwhelmed, discussing your options with no replies or lullabies. What does it take to erase your name? Or change it completely? Your memory defeats me until that day comes when I finally make some sense of what I’ve been feeling. It’s what I’ve been feeling for you. So come out your body and say it, “I will be waiting.”
4.
Your son spent weeks at my house crying over the thought of you never returning. He misses you more and more every time you leave. His brother and sister are way to young to understand. Are you alone? And are you ever coming home? They’re still searching for your face, but you’re too selfish and sick to care. They’re still searching for a reason not to give up on you. Your husband is trying to explain your lack of presence to his friends. He’s open to advice, but thinks of giving up. Well it was only a matter of time. He knows you’ll never be alright. They’re still searching for your face, but you’re too selfish and sick to care. They’re still searching for a reason not to give up on you.
5.
I Spat Fire 03:14
Well I know you’re right. I overreacted for the millionth time. And you still tell me to go. I’ve been tearing through this spectrum and it’s difficult. (Can you think of me please?) And it’s such a shame. (I’ve been so desperate to be…) That you won’t talk to me. (One day you’ll finally see) cause I miss your voice and how it rings. I picked you up for the last time. I held you close and you were mine. I said something. I let it out. I drove around until you passed out. I pulled up to your parent’s house. You looked at me with every doubt. I kissed your lips. I said goodbye. It’s been too long. I’m still not fine. Oh, when will it end? I have seen it in the flesh.
6.
Sorry I expressed concern at the wrong time of the day. I just need to know you’re fine and that you’re still alive. I’m a heavy thinker, impaired and falling off. And I’m falling into crazy habits like telling you that I’m OK. Where are you right now? Cause I don’t want to stand out in the heat while my friends are smoking cigarettes. Where am I right now? Cause when I am without you, I am nowhere, so it seems that I am nowhere to be found. Freaking out, pacing back and forth, I think I’m gonna die. And you always question why…why am I still inside? You were working, I was telling myself lies. Lies about the night before. The picture made me so unsure and scared. But when you informed me that I was wrong, I got up and wrote this song. Where are you right now? Cause I don’t want to stand out in the heat while my friends are getting high as kites. Where am I right now? Cause when I am without you, I am nowhere, so it seems that I am nowhere to be found. I’m telling you that I’m OK. Where are you right now? Cause I don’t want to stand out in the heat while my friends are puking on each other. Where am I right now? Cause when I am without you, I am nowhere, so it seems that I am nowhere to be found.
7.
Trust me, I don’t want to take the time to see your faces when I know that nothing’s fucking changed. We are still the same. It’s apparent that we can’t sit here and talk for twenty minutes without a sigh or a question, like “where do we go?” Well I never know how to answer. Sorry I’m the furthest thing from helpful, I’ll be staying in tonight. I remember back when we were young before we had to drive to accomplish everything. We were getting high. We would walk for several hours. Several miles, it was fine. Now we sit inside our vehicles and drink each other’s wine. Dipped my feet to prove that I could make a change. Dipped my feet to prove that you still mean everything. Well I never know how to tell them where I’ve been and what I’ve done and who I’ve seen. They’d never understand it at all. Please don’t be mad. I still love you to death. And I know we will see better times, my friends. Better times again. Dipped my feet to prove that I could make a change and that you still meant everything.
8.
Every year I’m defeated by the cold and bitter winds but this past one was different because I had you to hold. Now it’s hot and you’re leaving. You’re heading home today. And I promise to visit you on your birthday. Cold nights in the summer. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to see you cry. I never wanted to make things seem all right when I was out of my mind. It’s been a week since our last kiss. I’m all alone in my bed. I would kill for September. I would kill for you, my best friend.
9.
I made a choice to use the gun they put in my hands. I was a puppet, one of many, and I’m over it. They gave me something that was mine and I used and abused it. Another drop in my eye to pass the time. But wait, is this real? Was I really meant to feel the way I did when you appeared…so doubtful? I know I’m right for telling myself to runaway. I looked in your eyes and saw myself staring back at me. If you’re not with me than you are my enemy. How could you be so blind at a time when seeing is believing? I made a choice to feel a change by taking some chances. I killed them for her, the girl that gave me a reason to live. When I was young, I never thought love was a real thing. Well I was fucking dumb. But wait, is this real? Were you really meant to feel the way you did when I appeared…so doubtful? Listen to me, little killer. We know this happened for a reason. You and I, we are the same. We are selfish. We share a name. I don’t want to make diagrams with straws.
10.
How could I judge you? You’re a child and that’s unfair. I was just like you. I was in your shoes for a long time. Be whatever you want to be. (Remember you can) do whatever you want to do. (Remember you can) see whatever you want to see. Be whatever you want to be.

about

Recorded by Dannyq Halpren in May 2014 @ Brickhaus 111

credits

released August 26, 2014

All music written and performed by Planeview
All lyrics written by Sam Zimmerman
Produced by Planeview & Dannyq Halpren
Engineered, mixed & mastered by Dannyq Halpren
Album cover photo by Sam Zimmerman

Planeview is:
Nors Hexum - bass
Stephen Readyoff - drums
Harrison Schönberger - guitar
Sam Zimmerman - vocals/guitar

Matt Breeden - guest vocals on "Sigh or a Question"
Joel Flores - guest vocals on "Erase Your Name"

Thank you: Dannyq Halpren, Don't Look Down, Dear Creek, Ricky Furr, Alex Slohm, Jaxon Schwab and anyone else we have had the pleasure of sharing the stage with or who has supported us over the last two years. You guys mean the world to us.

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Planeview Winchester, Virginia

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